wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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