4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
