i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
