Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
