Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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