barbara walters just said penis...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
