If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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