M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
