the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I need a burrito and a hug.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
