Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think I died a long time ago.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
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