I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Randomize
