One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
