Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
