FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
