Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He better not be in your backpack
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
