YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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