The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
