Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
