I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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