Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
