Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i was born a porn star she said
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
