She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
