i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
