do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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