2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
