I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
