That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I just googled if crying burns calories
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
