sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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