I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
if only i could text you this smell
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
she peed on how many people?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
