She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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