I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
