Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
