it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
