Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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