Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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