hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
