my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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