Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
