im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
