i permit you to call me
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
