I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
