I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
