she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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