guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
