why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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