Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
