Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
