Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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