Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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