As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
