I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
