I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
