I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
