I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
