dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
