Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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