Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
